The Wacky Adventures of the Batfamily
by purpledinosaur4000
Summary: Robins. Majestic birds tha-Scratch that. Awesome sidekicks with 'wacky adventures'. Characters: Damian, Tim, Jason, and Dick. Ignore my corniness. Rated T because Jay likes to curse and I'm paranoid. :D I own nothing.
1. Chapter 1

_**Rated T for light cursing and the fact that I'm incredibly paranoid. I'll finish if it reviews well. I'm now going to go bash my head into a wall for not making this longer.**_

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It's all about chance. Like winning the lottery, or getting struck by lightning. It was by chance that reality decided to throw a curveball that night. What are the odds that Jason happened to be staking out the same alleyway as me? That at the same time Tim decided to pop by to ask for help taking down Ivy, because she's annoying as hell to take out alone. Alfred hates cleaning all the pollen and sap. Or that Damian was making sure that "Drake wasn't plotting against me with your aide" (his words, not mine.). Personally, I think Damian was just bored and lonely, not that I'd ever admit that to his face. So when Black Mask and Two-Face met to negotiate territory, we all reacted at once. Jason went for Black Mask. Old grudges die hard. Tim judged his lackeys as the biggest threat and he and Damian both lunged for them. Whether they like it or not, they fight well together. When they're not fighting each other, that is. A shot from Mask's gun hit Jay's thigh and I gave Black Mask a concussion in return. We all turned to Two-Face, who proceeded to flip a coin. "Sorry boys, not the fight we're looking for." He said as he and his body guards proceeded to back down the alley. Damian tensed for a fight. "Leave him," I say, "He's not worth it. We've got bigger problems." Damian glances over at Jason's leg, which is now bleeding profusely. "I don't need your help 'Nightwing'." Jason says with malice. I sigh. "Don't murder me for this later". Jason barely has enough time to utter "Whu-?" before I knock him out cold with a syringe of anesthetic.

I narrowly duck the various medical items thrown at my head. "Who do you think you are!"Jason yells. "The person who saved your life?" More ducking. "I would think you would be more grateful, Todd. Personally I would just rather end your worthless life and save a whole lot of trouble, but Grayson disagrees." Damian huffs. "Not the time, brat." Tim warns. "Yet you get all the time in the world to whine about your problems Drake." Damian impersonates Tim in his best high-pitched, annoying voice. "Why doesn't the Brown girl love me? Even though I'm clearly not a match for a woman of her stature, she should lower her standards to the irksome Neanderthal that is me."  
"I do not sound like that!"  
"I do not sound like that!"  
"Could you be more immature right now?"  
"Could you be more immature ri-"  
"Can you two lovebirds take this little argument elsewhere?" Jason says angrily, causing them both to turn their bat-glares on him menacingly. "Unless you want your life in danger again Jay, I suggest you not make them angry." I warn. "I don't need advice from you, Dickie-bird." He retorts. "Jay? Dickie-bird?" Tim laughs. Then Jason gets this look, one I know well. The look that means he's about to do something evil. "At least Jay isn't as bad as Timmy or Dami." One, Two, Three... "What was that Todd?" "Timmy, Jason? You are so dead!" Then I start snickering and everyone turns to me. "Brucie." I reply in a fit of laughter. Tim starts giggling and even Damian's wall cracks. Jason just smiles. Whether or not he acknowledges it, this will always be his home.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Sorry this took so long. My chapters aren't very long. BTW I don't know medicine very well, so let's just say that Jason's leg injury has put him out of comission for a while and he needs crutches. Just pretend it makes sense. Oh, and Imma put a disclaimer in this chapter...I own nothing..this goes for the entire story. I forgot last time. Please Review! Just one second of your time to put either a smiley or frowny icon, that's all I'm asking. Though constructive criticism is nice too. I'm learning how to write...I need to know what i did wrong! Plus, I changed the title... I like it better. I'm so corny. This is getting too long. Enjoy! **_**:D**

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You know there's something wrong when you walk into a room with Jason grinning like he's a cat that just ate the canary (or in this case robin.), and Damian and Tim are conspicuously absent. "Umm where is everyone?" Jason turns from the T.V. and mumbles something like "Bruce is on a business trip, Alfred went along for, I dunno, moral support or some shit. Three weeks or whatever." I'm well aware of this since I m supposed to hold down the fort for the next three weeks ..and Bruce acts like it s no big deal. Alfred said, and I quote,'Good luck'. Not a good sign. "You know what I meant, and don t curse." Jason snorts. "Sorry, I forgot I was in the presence of a maiden." Three weeks. Just great. "So, what are we watching?"Jason raises an eyebrow. "You're not going to ask where Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Idiot are?" "I like the quiet." I reply. "Well, this is anti-climactic. I was hoping for a fight." Jason says, sounding almost disappointed. "Please, I don t fight cripples. But for the sake of appearances, where are Damian and Tim." "Appearances, Dickie?" Jason questions. "Well, if we were both the wicked sibling, add Damian to that and poor Tim s got no chance at all. Back to my original point, where are the pre-pubescent duo?" Jason smirks. "Damian got my help in 'binding the Drake boy' then I turned on him. Never saw it coming. They re both tied up in a closet. Without the utility belts, it should take them a while to get out." "I ll get them later," I say off-handedly. "Should give them a chance to bond." "So what are we watching anyway?" While we were talking I could hear the sounds of fighting emanating from the T.V. and it had my curiosity peaked.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

"What? Why Jason, I didn t know you had such a wide span of interests."

" Shut-up, at least stuff like Buffy, Angel, and Supernatural has actual violence."

"Whereas, you watching the X-Files is purely scientific, I m sure. *Cough*, geek, *cough*."

" The other night, you were watching Hart of Dixie. You have nothing on me."

"Fanboy."

" Spinster."

"Nerd."

"Moron."

"Delinquent."

"Dick."

"That's it; your crippled ass is dead!"

"Richard!" He said in the midst of our, I m not proud to say, slap-fight. "Cursing, how scandalous!" It ended when we (Fine, I.) gave up. Hair pulling is my kryptonite, okay? Don't judge me.

"How is that stake not impractical?" I say, changing the subject. "You have to get up close to kill the vampires." "And demons!" Jay scolds. "But she also has a crossbow to kill them with, but even so, if you have the proper skill you just get up close and stick it in."

"I'm sure that's what you tell all the girls."

"Their hearts, you idiot. And that didn't even make sense."

"You don't make sense."

"Dumbass."

Just like old times.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: I not own characters. Y I no make chapters longer? I know, the new summary is just awful, but whatever. so was the last chapter. But in my defense...ummm...It was 4am and I had too much caffeine? Gotta blame sumthin'. Hopefully the thing is coherent this time. (Even though it's incredibly short.). Please Review! Enjoy! (Ignore the crazy person posting Author's notes.) What did those Parentheses just say! :D Sorry for ranting.**_

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When I finally found the closet that Jason had left Damian and Tim in, I had to endure several death threats and a lot of scowling and hurt looks. "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of Buffy closing the Hellmouth...for, like, the FOURTH time." Tim frowned and Damian responded with a puzzled look. "Grayson, I don't understand this foolishness." I get that Talia gets the worst mother in the year award, but how can she not educate him in the ways of pop culture? Honestly, we were gonna have to get that kid every season of every television show ever. I wonder how he would handle procedural cop shows. Or crime dramas. Is there a difference? I don't think that th- "Damian, I think you broke him." Tim broke me out of my stupor, and I realized that I had been staring at nothing with my jaw open like an idiot for the last minute and a half. "It's a T.V. show, Kid Psychopath. Look it up." Jason's voice rang from the living room. Tim got this calculating look. Not good. The last time he got his revenge I had to get a completely new set of Nightwing suits, because he bedazzled them all. Every last one. Even the old ones, with the V-cut! Like I really would've used that as a back-up? He's evil and conniving when he wants to be. Which means I'll have to pass as much of the blame as I can off on Jason. Here goes. "Jason, why didn't you tell me to find the boys earlier?" Jason narrowed his eyes. The words 'Game On' practically floated in the air. "Golly, it must have slipped my mind." He said, putting on as much of a cliché innocent facade as he could. Sneaky bastard. Tim was watching this exchange like a Ping-Pong match, gears a whirrin'. Damian was just glaring at everyone. How am I supposed to respond to that? Wait! I'm in charge...It's a long shot, but..."You're all grounded!" I hurried up the stairs with Jason yelling about how he's too old to be grounded, Tim asking what he did wrong, and Damian, well Damian just sort of shrugs and walks off, no doubt to brood. I have to admit, he did inherit some of Bruce's traits. This will not end well for me, but it should give me some time to think.


End file.
